by: Laura West

“It’s Not My Fault… But It Feels Like It Is.” Someone around you is upset, quiet, or angry—and suddenly your stomach knots. You start replaying everything you said. You wonder what you did wrong. You feel an overwhelming need to fix it, smooth it over, or make them feel better. Even if you know their feelings aren’t your responsibility, you can’t help but feel like they are. If that sounds familiar, you're not alone. In fact, this emotional habit is common in survivors of childhood abuse, neglect, or emotional instability—and it has deep roots in the nervous system. Feeling responsible for everyone’s emotions isn’t kindness—it’s a trauma response. The good news? It can be unlearned. In this post, we’ll break down why this pattern develops, how it shows up in your relationships, and how to stop carrying emotions that were never yours to begin with.